


If Better Words Were Spoken

by lilmione (serena43)



Series: How a Moment Lasts Forever [1]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, He still dies, canon through 8x05, how I'm coping, mostly canon, way too shippy to have ever been on the show but I tried anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 16:07:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18968653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serena43/pseuds/lilmione
Summary: An alternate version of Tyrion's last conversation with Jaime where Brienne is at least acknowledged, if not the most important topic the Lannister brothers have to discuss in their final moments together.





	If Better Words Were Spoken

**Author's Note:**

> The actual conversation from the show is only paraphrased as I was incoherent during my first viewing of it and I have no intention of ever watching it again, so please forgive me for any inconsistencies. Also, I realize Tyrion might not know Jaime's reasons for the mad king, but I couldn't resist a passive aggressive swipe at that line of dialogue. It's way too shippy to ever really be canon but if they had just done *something* like this, I swear I'd feel better about the shit show they gave us. I apologize for using Tyrion as my mouthpiece, too, as he's really saying everything I'd like to say to Jaime at this point. Though if it were me, there would have been a lot more yelling and I WOULD NOT HAVE SET HIM FREE.

“What happened to being happy?” Shadows descend over Jaime’s face as he averts his gaze from Tyrion’s.

“I didn’t deserve it.”

“Everyone deserves happiness. Even you. What happened?” Tyrion repeats. Jaime’s gaze remains on anything but his little brother. His silence lengthens and Tyrion tries again. “What about Ser Brienne? Didn’t she deserve happiness?”

“More than anyone in the world.” Jaime’s gaze finally returns to Tyrion, his sincerity reverberating off the walls of the tent and coating the Lannister brothers with its intensity. “I hope she finds it.”

“She already found it. With you.”

“She deserves better.”

“That may be true.” Jaime’s mouth twists wryly—as if he expected nothing less. “But she wanted you,” Tyrion adds. The half-smile fades from Jaime’s lips and he looks away. “She knew you were a man who did terrible things for love and she still wanted you,” Tyrion repeats.

“She’s better off without me.”

“Jaime. No one who loves you is better off without you.”

“She is.”

“Again. That’s for her to decide. She loves you. Weren’t you happy?”

“Yes.” A reluctant admission but the truth in it is undeniable. Tyrion leans in a little closer while Jaime resumes his fascination with anything that isn’t his little brother.

“You wanted to stay with her?”

“Yes.” Even more reluctant but no less true and Tyrion peers up into his brother’s averted face, searching for the answer he’s afraid he already knows.

“Then why?”           

“Cersei.”

The word escapes him as little more than a whisper and Tyrion’s face drains of all emotion.

“Cersei.”

Tyrion leans back and nods with resignation. Jaime’s gaze flickers to him while the weight of his decision settles around the Lannister brothers. “You don’t have to die with her,” Tyrion ventures a moment later. Jaime shakes his head.

“I can’t let her die alone.”

“We all die alone, Jaime.”

Jaime shakes his head again and Tyrion abandons the cause as lost, despite the pain coursing through him with the knowledge he will most likely never see either of his siblings again while they all live. Then he shares his plan, a plan he knows has very little chance of succeeding, but a plan nevertheless. And says good-bye to his brother. The only person who never viewed him as a monster.

Tyrion pauses at the tent flap for one last look at his brother, unable to help thinking how little of the golden lion Jaime once was remains now in the broken, graying man before him. He can’t stop him from this fool’s errand, and it is a fool’s errand, even if part of him understands the logic. _You deserved better too, brother_. Jaime’s attention is caught by freeing himself from his chains and something twists within Tyrion’s chest and he releases the words clamoring to break free.

“Jaime?”

His brother ceases his ministrations with the locks and looks up at him.

“If I should cross paths with Ser Brienne again, I won’t tell her you were a monumental fool." The color drains from Jaime’s features and satisfaction courses through Tyrion when his not-so-golden brother swallows with some difficulty. “I’ll tell her you loved her.”

The color drains even further from Jaime’s face and so dramatically Tyrion wonders how he ever could have thought him pale before. His brother looks as if he has unearthed a secret deeper than the truth behind his killing the Mad King (though Jaime seemingly has forgotten it), or his incestuous relationship with his sister. Even the truth of Bran Stark’s accident seems less horrific in discovery than Tyrion speaking aloud what was plain to anyone who witnessed the two of them together at Winterfell. Jaime struggles to swallow a second time and manages to whisper,

“She won’t believe you.”

“Why not? It’s the truth.” Jaime undergoes a sort of facial apoplexy before sagging back against the post he’s still tied to, his eyes closing.

“You loved her. Maybe not enough. But you loved her. She should hear it from someone…if not from you.”

After a moment Jaime nods, a ragged breath escaping from him before he opens his eyes and meets Tyrion’s gaze a final time. And it’s there. All of it. The emotions seeping out from his brother whenever Brienne of Tarth so much as existed in the same space as he did. Looking at him, Tyrion can’t comprehend _why_ it wasn’t enough to fight Cersei’s poison, to break whatever hold she still seems to have on Jaime, when its intensity is dazzling enough to illuminate the entire tent. Jaime is still struggling with himself and Tyrion takes a step, choosing this glimpse of his brother’s goodness to be his last view of him.

“I don’t regret it,” Jaime chokes out. Tyrion pauses and revolves to face his brother, one brow arched. Jaime’s face is still rippling from one emotion to another, the duty he feels toward his sister warring with the love he feels for his lady knight and Tyrion has a fleeting impulse to snatch the key from him. “I regret how I…but I don’t regret _her_. Tell her that. Make her understand.”

The desperation in Jaime’s face splinters the already shattered pieces of Tyrion’s heart all over again and he nods. Relief descends over Jaime so dramatically he sags under the weight of it before he resumes working at his chains. Tyrion watches him a moment longer before turning away for the last time.

“I won’t have to. She already does.”

Jaime looks up but Tyrion is already slipping out through the folds of the tent, thinking of all the fates his brother could have chosen rather than this ridiculously tragic and undeserved one. _The things we do for love_.  


End file.
